Tanning Tips for Our President - Donald Trump

Love him or hate him, you have to admit that our president, Donald Trump, has not been having an easy time lately. There’s the constant harassment from the ’’fake news media’’, the aftermath of hurricanes to deal with (or not) and the devastating effect that has on the budget. His old enemy the NFL refusing to fire their ungrateful athletes who choose to kneel rather than stand for the national anthem, the demands of keeping his nearly 40 million Twitter followers entertained. Not to mention impending nuclear armageddon just because some guy with a funny haircut thinks he has a bigger arsenal than our Commander-in-chief... we could continue, but you get the picture.

With all this going on, it’s easy to understand why President Trump sometimes appears a bit patchy, and we’re not talking promises or policies here folks, we’re referring to his tan.

Being president of the U.S.A. is a demanding job, physically and mentally, and it’s inevitable that the wear and tear should be reflected in the incumbent’s complexion. Even Barrack Obama looked a bit pasty from time to time. So we commend our C.I.C. on his efforts to maintain a healthy glowing complexion at all times, no matter what crisis is demanding his attention.

We also understand why it's not always possible to allow professionals to administer the tan, with unfortunately obvious consequences. 

That's why we feel it's our duty as to help ease the burden of office on our President with some advice about how to apply a self-tanning solution.

1. Only use light or medium solutions, for a man of your coloration and stature anything darker is too much. If the tube says ’’gradual’’ this means it takes time for the tan to develop so resist the urge to re-apply after a couple of hours if the initial results are disappointing. Wait at least a day and don’t use it for more than three days in a row. We recommend the Designer Skin DS Gradual Sunless Face Lotion.
2. Make sure to exfoliate properly before applying any new tan. The Norvell Intensive Detoxifying Salt Scrub is great for this. Using this on your face while it's still damp is a sure way to get rid of any unwanted color and leave you with a pure white base to rebuild from.
3. To apply the tan, basically, follow the instructions on the tube. They might be written by experts but don't worry; they're not the type of experts who only know about a subject because they've spent a lifetime studying it. These are good people who've learned through hands-on experience so trust them.
4. Very importantly, don’t be afraid to do your eyelids. We know there was a scare back in 2012 with the ABC News story about DHA in tanning solutions but industry leaders like Norvell stepped up to the plate to develop healthy alternatives, and the golden panda is seriously not a good look for anyone, world leader or not.

We hope you find these tips useful and they serve you well during your time in the Oval Office.